Dangerous word...that word "should."
There's a lot of serious emotions attached to that word. There's a lot of major suffering that comes along with that word. Pain. Grief. Expectation. The works.
That word...can drive you mad or keep you stuck in the past.
Maybe you've heard yourself say this before...
"That shouldn't have happened...this should have happened...it should have gone this way."
Truth is, it didn't go that way.
When you stay in the land of should, you are stuck in the past or the future.
When your "should" lives in the past, you can't come to terms with what happened because it "should" have happened another way. You can't accept what happened. You can't accept the fact that the reality is the reality. Instead, you are trying to live in an alternate world that doesn't exist.
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
When your "should" lives in the future, you are limiting yourself to a very shallow way of seeing into a land that is completely unknown and foreign to you. "It should happen like this." And if it doesn't? Usually there is a feeling of being let down or disappointed in what actually did happen.
You have to keep coming back to the present.
We are all going to have incredibly painful times in our lives that are going to make us want to project an experience onto a life we really have real idea of what's going to happen. That's ok in some ways, but the reality is you have to come back to living in the mystery of the present moment.
These dark times will always be there.
But endless suffering comes with being unable to accept the truth fully.
What happened...happened...and it couldn't have happened...in any other way.
And if you let go of the future, and come back to this moment?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist in your life anymore and you live in the present.
No past.
No living in the future...because the only moment we have is right now.
Be here.
So stay connected with the present moment.
Accept.
There's a lot of serious emotions attached to that word. There's a lot of major suffering that comes along with that word. Pain. Grief. Expectation. The works.
That word...can drive you mad or keep you stuck in the past.
Maybe you've heard yourself say this before...
"That shouldn't have happened...this should have happened...it should have gone this way."
Truth is, it didn't go that way.
When you stay in the land of should, you are stuck in the past or the future.
When your "should" lives in the past, you can't come to terms with what happened because it "should" have happened another way. You can't accept what happened. You can't accept the fact that the reality is the reality. Instead, you are trying to live in an alternate world that doesn't exist.
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
When your "should" lives in the future, you are limiting yourself to a very shallow way of seeing into a land that is completely unknown and foreign to you. "It should happen like this." And if it doesn't? Usually there is a feeling of being let down or disappointed in what actually did happen.
You have to keep coming back to the present.
We are all going to have incredibly painful times in our lives that are going to make us want to project an experience onto a life we really have real idea of what's going to happen. That's ok in some ways, but the reality is you have to come back to living in the mystery of the present moment.
These dark times will always be there.
But endless suffering comes with being unable to accept the truth fully.
What happened...happened...and it couldn't have happened...in any other way.
And if you let go of the future, and come back to this moment?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist in your life anymore and you live in the present.
No past.
No living in the future...because the only moment we have is right now.
Be here.
So stay connected with the present moment.
Accept.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is a professional life coach at AYKME coaching. Dive into some great bible quotes on faith by clicking here or read more quotes on hope.
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